15 Useful “Do’s and Don’ts” That Might Not Readily Come To Mind in Effectively Starting the Divorce Process

There are a lot of books (and nowadays, online materials) written about divorce and I have read only a few of them. Several are very good, e.g. “Good Karma Divorce” (Lowrance, 2010), and many are horrible. What I know comes from first hand experience over the last 30 years or so of working in dispute resolution and with folks going through this often traumatic life transition. Continue reading

A Little About My Path

As a kid I wanted to be a lawyer. But then as a young man coming of age in the spiritually pregnant early 70s, all I was interested in was expansion of consciousness and spiritual growth. Eventually the desire to become a meditation teacher trumped all other endeavors.  The five years of retreat, study and teaching meditation after college was one of the most meaningful times of my life. When I later went to law school, it was always with the idea of somehow using the law in a spiritually conscious manner. Continue reading

At The Feet of Your Perfect Master

Toward a kinder paradigm for parting ways

I grew up first in the 1950’s and then in the initially drug addled and then spiritually blossoming world of the hippie 60’s. During that time the former Harvard psychologist Dr. Richard Alpert became Ram Dass after he went to India and met his master. His classic book Be Here Now and  books like Autobiography of a Yogi were counter-culture bibles in my neck of the woods. We all wanted more out of life, and to facilitate this, we wanted a special teacher, a guru; a master no less. No wait, we wanted a “perfect master. “ Continue reading

The Practice of Peacemaking

Peacemaking practice is available to everyone. And it is difficult. I get to practice every time I’m honked at or yelled at for some real or perceived transgression I have committed in my car. I have the instant choice of how many fingers to respond with: two fingers would be a peace sign and one finger would, of course, be “the finger”. Which I choose has a significant impact on what happens next. Continue reading

When The Life Sentence is Lifted, You Might Actually Like Him/Her

Human beings may have married each other, and sincerely loved each other, without it necessarily being right or healthy to live together for life. No one expects to break up when they get married, but despite best intentions, it often becomes painfully apparent at some point that it is necessary for people to change the nature of their relationship.

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Authentic Strength

Authentic strength is born of meaningful experience, competence, wise action, and confidence in the existence of a higher power. Being aggressive, difficult, or overly adversarial is born of weakness. While the latter behaviors often pass for strength, in truth, they typically represent lack of preparation, understanding, and professional competence. Continue reading

Skillfully Dealing with Attack

People sometimes say to me: “I love your peaceful, non-violent philosophy, but what do you do when the lawyer or person on the other side is an aggressive sort and attacks you or your client with mean-spirited personal or legal tactics? How are you and your client protected?” This of course is a legitimate question and one with a very clear answer: I try very hard not to respond with the same kind of behavior. (And it is always really hard to do, and I don’t always succeed.) Continue reading